The Natural Family and the Safety of Children

Ed Kaitz at American Thinker brilliantly assesses the implications of the AP report I addressed in Marriage is about Children in an article drawing heavily on the debate on the nature of the family in civilization explicit in the works of Plato and Aristotle. He quotes Aristotle:

In a state having women and children common, love will be watery; and the
father will certainly not say ‘my son' or the son ‘my father.' As a little
sweet wine mingled with a great deal of water is imperceptible in the mixture,
so, in this sort of community, the idea of relatiionship which is based on
these names will be lost; there is no reason why the so-called father should
care about the so-called son, or the son about the father, or brothers about one
another. Of the two qualities which chiefly inspire regard and affection - that a thing is your own and that you love it - neither can exist in a state such as this.

You have got to read the whole thing! Kudos, Mr. Kaitz!

H/T Lucianne

The Demographic Winter

Yesterday I had a conversation with two young mothers who desired large families, but felt sheepish about it. It's not the thing to do, anymore. I shared a few facts about the world's population trends with them and they were utterly amazed. I am amazed how folks are still making life decisions based on the media scare tactics of a generation ago. Last night, I read a wonderful speech that Don Feder presented in Riga, Latvia that explained the current situation very succinctly. Here is his assessment of Russia's approaching demographic winter:

This catastrophe in the making can be most clearly seen in Russia. What
Lenin, Stalin and Hitler failed to accomplish, the Russian people are doing
to themselves. You might call it auto-genocide.

In Russia, the fertility rate is 1.17 (down from 2.4 in 1990, a decline
of over 50%). Russia is losing three-quarters of a million people a year.
Its current population of 145 million is expected to be reduced by a third
by 2050. In Russia today, almost as many children are aborted as are born
alive (1.5 million to 1.6 million).

The Russian people occupy 17 million sq. km, the largest land mass on
earth. By comparison, the United States has 9.6 million sq. km. and a
population of 303 million -- in other words, a little less than half of
Russia's land mass and more than twice its population.

Where will the Russia of 2050 find the soldiers to guard its frontiers?
Where will it find the workers to operate its factories and mines, to grow
its crops and run its hospitals and schools?

Read the whole thing. If you still believe what you were taught in school about overpopulation, you'll be shocked.

Of course, the Word of God explained this long ago:

In a multitude of people is a king’s honor,

But in the lack of people is the downfall of a prince.

H/T Teresa Wirtz

Marriage is About Children

I found out a few years ago that the Bible said so, but it has only been in recent years that I understood the civil perspective on marriage. Governments have been involved in marriage throughout history, but many people are questioning if government has a role in the regulation of the marriage contract. Why is government involved at all?

The most obvious answer is the orderly devolution of property. A government recognized marriage is the basis for knowing who belongs to one's family - and hence, who is entitled to inherit. This is a critical bit of knowledge for an orderly and nonviolent economy. Instead of vultures gathering to pick the bones of the dead, we have an acknowledged wife, or legitimate children, or blood relatives who naturally and peacefully step into the estate.

A less obvious, and perhaps more important answer is that the traditional family is the foundational unit of civilization. It is the first government established on the earth and the most basic in terms of its function. The function of a family is for mutual help and protection. If that is so, why aren't nontraditional marriages of equal use to society? Children.

I noticed many years ago that the vast majority of the heartbreaking child abuse stories I read in the newspaper involved a perpetrator that was not a blood relative of the child. Now it seems others are noticing, too:

Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as
likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological
parents, according to a study of Missouri abuse reports published in the journal
of the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005

This is really heartbreaking news, but I think it points up that God created the family to be one man and one woman for life raising their children. Only in such a family can the adults in the household all have the bond of love and affection of blood relationship that restrains them. What about adoption? In adoption, you have a covenant of commitment in which someone has willingly chosen to contract themselves to accept a child as their own. Commitment and covenant are what marriage and family are all about. When they are missing, it is not a family, and unfortunately, the contract of mutual help and protection is never made. My father died when I was 14, and I do understand that many find themselves single parents through no fault of their own. I urge them to never bring a lover into their home, but only a spouse, and only one willing to adopt their children. Covenants keep families what they were meant to be.

The civil government has a very real interest in encouraging the formation of natural families. In these families, children are protected and adults are committed to help each other throughout their lives. That makes civilization easier to perpetuate.

The Feeling is Mutual

I couldn't believe that Barack Obama slipped up on Meet the Press and actually said it:

I do not believe being gay or lesbian is a choice, and so I disagree with
Reverend McClurkin, but understand, Tim, part of what I hope to offer as
president is the ability to reach to people that I don't agree with, and the evangelical community is one where the Democratic Party, I
think, we have generally seen as hostile, we haven't been reaching out to them,
and I think that if we're going to make significant progress on critical issues
that we face, whether it's education, or health care, or energy, or our foreign
policy in this country, we've got to be able to get beyond our comfort
zones and just talk to people we don't like (pause) or just talk to
people we like, or people that we agree with on every single issue. [emphasis
mine]

So... when he says "we" in this context, I think he's pretty clearly speaking of the Democrat Party and according to Mr. Obama, they just don't like evangelical Christians. I hope you folks who vote Democratic because Granddaddy did will listen when they say it themselves. The Democratic Party is not your friend.

H/T Rush - Thanks!

Taxpayers Win!

I am delighted to report that the taxpayers of Johnston County (and the rest of North Carolina, too) have refused to offer the wino another drink: In Johnston County, voters defeated the real estate transfer tax referendum by 84-16 percent and the sales tax by a four to one margin. It has long been my policy to vote no to all tax referendums until I see some evidence that government at that level is using the money they do have wisely. Hasn't happened yet.

Happy Reformation Day

On October 31, 1917, Martin Luther, an Augustinian monk, nailed 95 Theses for academic debate on the door of the Wittenberg cathedral and lit a fire of Reformation that swept across Europe. The Five Solas of the Reformation restored the glory of the gospel to the church:

Sola Scriptura - The Scripture Alone is the Standard
Solo Christo - By Christ's Work Alone are We Saved
Sola Gratia - Salvation By Grace Alone
Sola Fide - Justification By Faith Alone
Sola Deo Gloria - For the Glory of God Alone

Amen!

May I invite you to join our family in celebrating Reformation Day? Tonight we will be sharing a meal of German and Swiss food, watching the most excellent Martin Luther movie, playing some Reformation games, and singing songs of the Reformation. John Calvin (Young) himself will be host tonight. :-) Email me if you would like to join us.

If you can't come to us, won't you celebrate with your family anyway? Our children need to know the stories of the great men and women of God who came before us. They need to have real heroes to look up to.

Sola Deo Gloria!

For more information on Reformation Day, see last year's post.

Seeker-Friendly or God-Friendly?

Willow Creek just released a study that reveals what many have been saying all along: that if these churches were truly Seeker-Friendly, they would be pointing them toward what they are seeking - Jesus Christ. Bill Hybels has got it right when he says:

We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of
faith and become Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching
people that they have to take responsibility to become ‘self feeders.’ We should
have gotten people, taught people, how to read their bible between services, how
to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.

Unfortunately, Greg Hawkins, a Willow Creek leader, says:

Our dream is that we fundamentally change the way we do church. That we
take out a clean sheet of paper and we rethink all of our old assumptions.
Replace it with new insights. Insights that are informed by research and rooted
in Scripture. Our dream is really to discover what God is doing and how he’s
asking us to transform this planet.

Thereby missing the whole point. The WORD says in Jeremiah 6:16:

Thus says the LORD: “ Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the
old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find
rest for your souls." But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

We do NOT need to "replace it with new insights", we need to go back to the
old paths, where the good way is. Dear brothers, teach your disciples to
be Christ's disciples. Teach them to read their Bibles, to pray, to seek
expository preaching, to worship with other believers, to live according to the
Word; then you will see the only kind of church growth that matters - real
disciples.

We don't need more programs, we to get back to the basics: Five Solas.

H/T Paul Chesser

The Next Battle (Parental Guidance Suggested)

It has been deeply disturbing to me to see the radical change in our culture in the past ten years with regard to the acceptance of homosexuality. I live in the Bible Belt South and an agreement that homosexuality was perversion was nearly universal ten years ago and is a vanishing part of our culture today. What happened? The enemy reframed the debate. No longer was the issue is this right or wrong, but it became, "These poor persecuted people. They aren't hurting anyone. Let them be as happy as they can." The new argument immediately casts anyone who opposes homosexual marriage as mean, interfering, persecuting. And it's working. The cultural acceptance of what God calls an abomination grows every year. Who would have thought ten years ago that an open homosexual would seriously run for the Senate in North Carolina?

All that to bring to your attention what I believe is the next battle we face in the culture wars. May we not lose this one as we did the last. I think the next phase in the decline and fall of American culture will be the acceptance of pedophilia and child sexuality. Twenty years ago allegations of abuse at a couple of day care centers made news around the world, with everyone reading each new snippet of news with horror. Now there's a teacher accused of sexual abuse of students nearly every week and the attitude seems to be, "Ho, hum, well we got rid of the one that's a problem." No one seems to notice that there was a different one last week and will be another next week. Just like homosexuality, the incidence is growing and with it, people's consciences are seared - it seems so common.

But how in the world will the promoters of these heinous perversions convince everyone that it is just another variation of normal? I suggest that they will accomplish this by convincing us that it is the children driving it and we can not and should not restrain them from expressing themselves. We see it in the increasingly sexual clothing for children and preteens. What in the world is wrong with a father who allows his little girl to wear short shorts with juicy or sexy written across her behind? Even the world is noticing the incredibly inappropriate Halloween costumes available this year: French Maid, Bar Wench, Playboy Racy Referee -- for 8 to 11 year olds - have we collectively lost our minds? Who do these people think these girls are appealing to? It's certainly not the 8 to 11 year old boys.

Don't think all of this really means anything in the culture wars? Not sure it's really going to change anything? After all, they're just being cute, right? Well, will you believe the advocates of perversion if they tell you openly what the plan is? In Aftenposten, they do:

Pia Friis, leader of the popular Bjerkealleen Barnehage in Oslo and a well-known
pre-school educator, told newspaper Dagbladet on Tuesday that children should be
allowed to express their own sexuality at day care centers. She doesn't want to
stifle what comes naturally. Children, she said, should be able "to look at
each other and examine each other's bodies. They can play doctor, play mother
and father, dance naked and masturbate. "But their sexuality must also be
socialized, so they are not, for example, allowed to masturbate while sitting
and eating. Nor can they be allowed to pressure other children into doing things
they don't want to."

Well, that's a relief, at least they won't be eating and masturbating at the same time. This is crazy. And it is going to get crazier (read the whole thing) unless those of us with Biblical values (sex is for marriage, for those of you that grew up in Norway) stand athwart history and yell, "Stop!"

Make that Parental Guidance Desperately Needed.

IBCLC Again

Just wanted to let you guys that prayed for me back in July that I have received word that I passed the International Board of Lactation Consultant Examiner's exam and I am a International Board Certified Lactation Consultant for another five years!

I was pretty pleased to see I made a 90 on the exam (passing was 67) and I think it shows, once again, that there is no need to change the requirements so that only those with a background as a healthcare provider can sit the exam. My background is as a mother of seven and long time La Leche League leader and the first time I took the exam I made one of the higher scores in the world. I just don't think we benefit from requiring a certain educational path in professions which have a certifying exam such as this one, or others like law. It is a labor-rationing scheme, a gatekeeper if you will, to limit the supply of professionals and I think the market would do a much fairer job.

A Bachelor's Degree in Burger-Flipping

What John Edwards doesn't know about economics could fill a library. Read what he plans to do if elected president:

Edwards, a former Democratic senator from North Carolina, says the federal
government should underwrite universal pre-kindergarten, create matching savings
accounts for low-income people, mandate a minimum wage of $9.50 and provide a
million new Section 8 housing vouchers for the poor. He also pledged to start a
government-funded public higher education program called "College for Everyone."

I am reminded of a Gilbert and Sullivan libretto. Now, this is a little long, but I urge you to read the whole thing, because there's more good economics in this silly song than I've heard from any democratic candidate:


There lived a King, as I've been told,
In the wonder-working days of old,
When hearts were twice as good as gold,
And twenty times as mellow.
Good-temper triumphed in his face,
And in his heart he found a place
For all the erring human race
And every wretched fellow.
When he had Rhenish wine to drink
It made him very sad to think
That some, at junket or at jink,
Must be content with toddy.
With toddy, must be content with toddy.

He wished all men as rich as he
(And he was rich as rich could be),
So to the top of every tree
Promoted everybody.
Now, that's the kind of King for me.
He wished all men as rich as he,
So to the top of every tree
Promoted everybody!

Lord Chancellors were cheap as sprats,
And Bishops in their shovel hats
Were plentiful as tabby cats—
In point of fact, too many.
Ambassadors cropped up like hay,
Prime Ministers and such as they
Grew like asparagus in May,
And Dukes were three a penny.
On every side Field-Marshals gleamed,
Small beer were Lords-Lieutenant deemed,
With Admirals the ocean teemed
All round his wide dominions.
With Admirals all round his wide dominions.

And Party Leaders you might meet
In twos and threes in every street
Maintaining, with no little heat,
Their various opinions.
Now that's a sight you couldn't beat—
Two Party Leaders in each street
Maintaining, with no little heat,
Their various opinions.

That King, although no one denies
His heart was of abnormal size,
Yet he'd have acted otherwise
If he had been acuter.
The end is easily foretold,
When every blessed thing you hold
Is made of silver, or of gold,
You long for simple pewter.
When you have nothing else to wear
But cloth of gold and satins rare,
For cloth of gold you cease to care—
Up goes the price of shoddy.
Of shoddy, up goes the price of shoddy.

In short, whoever you may be,
To this conclusion you'll agree,
When every one is somebodee,
Then no one's anybody!
Now that's as plain as plain can be,
To this conclusion we agree—
When every one is somebodee,
Then no one's anybody!

And so, if Edwards is elected president, you'll need a college degree to flip burgers. It's called education inflation. Somebody clue this guy in.

H/T Matt Drudge

Where am I?

I am sitting in front of the computer desperately trolling Google in the hopes that someone in San Antonio will live blog the results of the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival's Awards Ceremony. Why? My son John Calvin is down there and his film treatment, The Patriot Pastor, is a semi-finalist in the Treatment Contest. If I get down there next year, I'm going to live blog the whole thing! Why isn't someone doing that already? For that matter, why aren't you, John???

Homeschooling and Divorce

Here's a letter I posted in response to a homeschooling mother who told an email list that she was thinking of divorcing her husband because she didn't love him anymore and they were not getting along at all. I hope if you are thinking of divorcing your mate, that you will read this very carefully and think it through.

Dear Friend,

I wish I could give you a hug! I'm so glad you asked for help instead of going to a lawyer!!!!! I believe God will intervene in this situation!

Now for the tough love part: a real, practical, earthly reality check. We are state homeschool leaders and sooner or later, many problems in the homeschool community in our state cross our desk. We see a lot of divorce situations! How in the world, you're probably thinking, would a divorce affect homeschool leaders? Here's the reality check: when you divorce, you are telling the state that you can no longer run your own family, that the adults in the marriage are no longer in agreement, so can not be allowed to make decisions about the children. When you do this, the family judge has, hear me, **complete authority** over your family. Most family judges are older people who are ignorant about homeschooling and they will jump on the slightest excuse to *order* you to place your children in public school. Now, I know that there are exceptions to this, but you can't decide what judge your case comes before. Our state homeschool board members and those in other states will testify if asked, but generally to no avail. And HSLDA will not help you in custody situations, even if homeschooling is the issue.

Now, you may think that you and your husband are in agreement about homeschooling, but when it comes to a divorce, *anything* can be used as a weapon. When someone is cut to the quick - and tearing apart a one-flesh relationship definitely does this - they can react like a wounded animal. We see parents reporting each other to social services, calling the state oversight agency and making complaints, asking the judge to give them total custody, asking the judge to stop the homeschooling. We see this a *lot*because the hurt or angry mate knows how important this is to his wife. Often these are Christian, homeschooling families that no one ever thought would be in this situation.

Even if you can possibly get through the judicial situation, you are not done with your husband. When a couple with children divorces, I think they seldom realize that they will be tied to each other forever through the children and courts. One of my dear, homeschool-mom friends is allowed to homeschool, but her husband has custody every weekend (and if it is a situation where no one has done anything wrong, 50/50 custody is the norm), so she almost never gets to go to church with her son, never gets to relax on a Saturday with him. Every other holiday is alone. He is gone a lot of the summer to make up for the 5 days she has him to every 2 his father does during the week. This, if you can believe it, is one of the best situations I know - not much of a best is it?

I can not urge you strongly enough, that nothing short of a real, physical, abusive situation or unrepentent adultery is even close to worth submitting your family for the rest of your children's childhood to the authority of a probably unsaved, probably hostile judge! Trust me, we see a lot of tough situations, and divorce will not take away your problems, they will just become problems you are not allowed to change - court orders.

The next thing we see, is moms who have gotten through all that and now they have to support themselves. Generally, judges will *not* order the husband to completely support the family as before since he sees no reason the wife should not work. And if you go to work, you can bet the judge will want to know who is supervising the children and not believe you can homeschool, too. It's a vicious cycle.

Now, there are people who get through divorce more easily than this, but can you take that chance?????? If Satan cares enough about wrecking your familyto spend two years tempting you away from loving and respecting your husband, do you think he will stop when victory is in his grasp???

I'm not going to go into the spiritual and emotional rebuilding advice, because I think you are getting a lot of great help, except to say, God would not command us to love one another if it wasn't something we can choose to do and not something that comes and goes without our decision.

Dear friend, I really don't want to see you go through this! You may even be in our state. I don't want to have to see a judge take over your family. Please count the cost and ask God to restore your marriage.

With much love,
Melanie Young

The Library: Learning at Home and Time Management

A few resources to go along with my workshop on teaching your little ones at Kennebec MOPS:

Getting Ready for School:
The Three R's by Ruth Beechick

Devotions:
A Catechism for Boys and Girls
Divine and Moral Songs for Children by Isaac Watts
Your Bible - read early and often to them!B
uy several copies of the hymnbook your church uses for use at home!

Character Training:
For Instruction in Righteousness
The Brother Offended Checklist

Science Resources:
Spring and Summer in North Carolina Forests - These are older than this age range, but nice to begin reading aloud.
Fall and Winter in North Carolina Forests
The Nature Readers
Pets in a Jar
Usborne First Book of Nature
Lyrical Life Science

History Resources:
Greenleaf Guides
Tapestry of Grace
Veritas Press Their catalog alone is a great resource. You don't need scripted lessons at this age!
Your local library :-)

No, I'm Not Dead

Just busy. Really, really busy. We've done nine major college visits in the past 5 weeks, I've written 9 or 10 AP syllabuses and we've started school. I'm hoping to post a lot more in the next few weeks. I've got some great stuff queued up. This is where I'm supposed to say, "Thank you for your patience." Right? Okay! Thank you for your patience. Seriously. I appreciate you guys!

Tax Free Weekend

Well, I'm pooped tonight because I was up until 3am ordering my curriculum for this year because this weekend is tax free weekend and I object to giving the government more money than I absolutely have to. In fact, I decided 25 years ago when I started voting to never vote for a tax increase until the government starts using the money it already has wisely. You just don't offer an alcoholic another drink :-)

Deja Vu!

I nearly didn't click on this article because of the sensationalist name, but I'm so glad I did and I hope you will read it, too. There are some extremely alarming things happening in Russia that are very reminiscent of Hitler's rise to power. The first few paragraphs of this article emphasize the sensational aspects of the situation, but you really need to read the whole thing. The Whole Thing. Evidently, there is a rise of "Putin Youth" that needs no strain to bring to mind the HitlerJugend. That coupled with the rewrite of Russian history to sanitize, even idolize Stalin, one of the biggest mass murderers of all time (responsible for between 10 and 60 millions deaths), while denigrating Russia's brief foray into democracy ought to make your skin crawl. If it doesn't, you need a history lesson. Go back and click on all the links. When you know the history, you will be alarmed.

Young Update

Several things going on the next week that we'd really appreciate your prayer about:

Lots of you have been following our adventures this past year in establishing a new international business - with the goal of becoming a business as mission company and supporting ourselves in a way that would allow my husband to disciple our six sons by having them work alongside him. We are on the verge of a breakthrough - possibly just a couple of days from getting this thing moving. Won't you please pray for the sale that is pending to go through?

Monday I am taking the exam to retain my certification as an IBCLC - international board certified lactation consultant. As you know, I don't work outside of the home, but this certification has been a real blessing in my Titus 2 ministry. When I help a mother with her nursing problems, it is so much more effective when she approaches her doctor, to say "my certified lactation consultant suggested we look at..." rather than "my friend Melanie said". This is a very intense six hour exam and I have just not had the time to study like I did five years ago when I last took it. Please pray I will pass this thing.

Our dear son is on a "mini-vacation" (4 days) with my brother and his wife, their 11yo, their 2yo nephew and grandmother and the governess. Everyone has been working so hard that they are all a bit cranky and the children are feeling a bit sad. Please pray for our son's testimony with them during this family time. I don't think any of them know our Lord and I feel sure some have never heard the gospel at all.

A busy and important few days for all of us. We are so grateful for your prayers.

Letting Boys Be Boys

My dear friend, Wendy Orth, posted this message on MOMYS and I was so encouraged by it that I asked her if I could share it with you:

One of the best "classes" we've given our boys is the Frontier Skills DVD series Little Bear Wheeler has on things like skinning wild game, making a wilderness survival pack, throwing knives and tomahawks and trick roping. I'll confess to some trepidation on the knife throwing... ! But my boys were 13, 15 and 17 when we gave it to them (it's pricey) and they have loved it and so far haven't skewered anyone. We here at our home believe in letting boys be boys and doing boy stuff! Our living room walls are decorated with bows and arrows, swords of all kinds, and reproduction antique pistols! My boys hike and climb and mountain bike. They weld, and construct and love to use an ax, hatchet and (oh, their favorite!!) a chain saw. They can drive tractors and my 16 yo is well sought after to operate medium heavy equipment to do landscaping work. They all can repair most anything and build most anything. Yes, I've had anxious moments as I've come across them scaling the beams in our 25 foot high upper barn! But I just pray and let them go... they will be awesome men some day!!! (Okay, technically Daniel is an adult now, but we're working on that.... !)

Building Up or Tearing Down

"Your words have stood men on their feet; you have helped the tottering to stand." (Job 4:4)



Someone sent me an essay today that was headed by this verse. I was immediately convicted. I come from an incredibly open, loving family! We share everything and speak openly. Unfortunately, this also means we criticize each other a lot. Now, it's never meant to be in a hurtful way, it's always meant to help the other put their best foot forward. However, this tendency, coupled with the tendency to get angry too quickly, can be pretty demoralising. When you need bucking up, you really don't want to hear what you need to do to improve yourself.

I promised myself long ago that I didn't ever want my children to feel that they just couldn't meet my standards. I didn't want them to ever feel like I saw them as failures for just normal challenges of life. However, I find myself all too often rebuking and instructing when I should probably be comforting or loving.

How do you help the tottering to stand? It's certainly not by helpfully telling him it would be easier to stand if he were thinner; or held his feet differently; or hadn't gotten himself tottering in the first place! Instead, you give him a hand until he's steady on his feet. Lord, make us parents whose words stand men on their feet and help the tottering to stand.

Happy is the Man...

Who has his quiver full of them... Psalm 127 clearly lays out the Lord's perspective on children: a gift, a reward, a heritage, a source of happiness and pride. Why then do men persist in thinking that restricting the bearing of children will bless a nation? Perhaps they've never heard:

In a multitude of people is a king’s honor,

But in the lack of people is the downfall of a prince.

I was very surprised to read this article tonight, because a few days ago, a correspondent told me it had recently been announced that two children would now be allowed everywhere but in this province. The juxtaposition of these two bits of information tells me a couple of things: (1) It is not about population, and (2) It is all about control of the people.



Pray for our brethren who do not have the freedom and safety we do.

82nd Carnival of Homeschooling

Mamahadeen is part of the 82nd Carnival of Homeschooling today, hosted this week by Tami Fox at Tami's Blog There are a lot of great blogs there - including my favorite - the first blog listed today! Check it out!

Teaching Boys to Be Men

Did you know that John Quincy Adams was private secretary to the ambassador to Russia at 14 years old and Admiral Farragut commanded his first ship - a prize - when he was 12 years old?

When Hal and I first read that, we were floored. We remembered how amazed folks seemed to be that we were getting married at 22, "That seems so young." We wondered what changed to make our culture go from viewing 12 year olds as young adults to seeing 22 year olds as barely able to care for themselves. When we read books like The Underground History of Public Education and the primary source documents of our country's past, we realized that young people today were raised very differently than they used to be. We decided that though we had no idea what the Lord had in store for our sons, that we wanted them to be ready. We wanted to raise them like the generation that founded our country.



Today it is common for young people to have all the freedom of adults (to make their own decisions, to choose their entertainment, to have life-changing romantic relationships) and yet to have none of the responsibilities. They are not expected to support themselves, to bear the consequences of their sin themselves, to do their work without supervision, to look after themselves. This is backwards from Scripture. The Word says, "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much," so we had a plan: give the boys as much responsibility as they could handle as soon as they were able and give them more as they showed themselves faithful. Here's how:

Chores: I try to ask myself, "Who is the youngest person who can do this job right now?" Now sometimes, that'll mean the oldest. If we're in a hurry or I have no time to see that it's done right, but it has to be, then the oldest who is home (we call that person, "the senior brother") does it. Often though, I have plenty of time to supervise and even teach the chore, but I don't want to. That's when I try to make myself choose the youngest who can do it. This keeps the older ones from feeling overwhelmed, frees them up to learn to do new things as they mature and makes sure the house doesn't fall apart when they leave! As they get older, we expect them to help out in our ministry opportunities - from setting up chairs to babysitting little ones at home - and in our business - marking samples, holding the backdrop for pictures, cutting fabric swatches, praying. They are a part of all we do and they are not paid - it is their part of helping to support us - of building their own inheritance.

School: We try to give the children more and more independence in their school work. We go from constant supervision and checking by me, to working independently with occasional checking, to only grading tests and answering questions as needed [N.B. I'm talking high school here, don't panic because your 7 year old can't work on his own :-)] Sometimes we've had children show themselves unfaithful - skip lessons or do shoddy work as long as they weren't caught. Those children move back a step. They earn more supervision, more work, redoing the shoddy work and discipline. Those who are faithful, are given more responsibility and freedom - to plan their own schedules and to organize the work flow. By the time they graduate, they should be prepared for the independence of college work. For some, this is a much bigger challenge than for others.

Errands: I always try to take one of the older boys along with me to carry things and to protect me. They love this. Makes them feel manly. Hal told them years ago that I should never carry anything unless everyone else's hands were full. They love to take things out of my arms. As they learn to do these things, I'll let them check out for me - teaching them to use cash and then my debit card. Later, I'll send them in by themselves to a small store while I anxiously watch the door :-). Eventually, they are able to drive to any store and do any level of shopping without help. This is kin to what we do when they get their learner's permit to drive. They drive every single time we go somewhere - even to downtown D.C. We want them to encounter everything possible while we're there so they have confidence and experience when they get to the time when we're not there.

Finances: Just like my parents before me, we give each child who shows enough maturity his own checking account at 13 years old. We teach him to use it, balance it and use Quicken. At 14 or so, we get them a credit card in their name on our account, to be used when we tell them to buy things or when they travel. We teach them about credit cards and how they work and how they don't (paying interest is foolish!). As they desire spending money, we encourage them to get part-time jobs or to start micro-businesses. Our oldest has made good money cleaning a mega-church once a week for a couple of years. His friends can't believe he pushes a vacuum and cleans - he can't believe they work for a third what he does :-). It's the perfect job for someone in a family like ours - he can do it any time between Wednesday night and Sunday morning and he is free to bring younger brothers to help him (and learn from him).

Opportunities: I look for opportunities that will allow the boys (remember our only girl is 2) to stand on their own for a time in a situation that will challenge them to grow, but one in which they are likely to succeed. Some of the things we've done are to send the boys to a Challenge Camp at about 11 or so. This camp is enormously physically challenging (rappelling, obstacle courses, etc.) and there is a mix of boys - likeminded ones and NOT - but the camp is led by a godly friend of ours who keeps the boys with him. It's a good opportunity to be tested and stand, while knowing it's not forever, only a week. I think the constant grind of no escape like going to public school is counterproductive and more likely to lead to "the companion of fools shall be destroyed." We've also gratefully accepted my mother's invitations to send a boy or two traveling with her overseas. When our oldest showed himself faithful in those things, we allowed him to fly by himself to San Antonio to attend the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival and Academy. He stayed with some friends of ours there. This summer, he's taken another step: living on his own in a closed country, living with those who don't speak his language and working and living with no known Christians in his cirle. He's doing fine.

My standard is this - do they have a way of escape from bad influences and can they handle the responsibility? For example, I sent our oldest to Christian Worldview Institute for Students - (a great program with a very likeminded group of Christian students) with no problem, but when I sent him to The Free Enterprise Leadership Challenge where there would be a wider variety of students, I talked to my friends and one of his close friends went with him and they roomed together. We have always made sure they were able to call us at any time, as well. I think the secret is just what Scripture lays out. A tiny bit of responsibility is given. When that is handled faithfully, more is given. If at any time, the child can't handle it, then things are tightened up until they are prepared to try again. Working step by step like that, there is much less chance for disaster!

So, how do you avoid the disasters? How can you let them find their feet to stand alone without letting them have a fatal fall? I believe it's through knowing their hearts and understanding where they are spiritually. A young man can't stand alone if he doesn't know God. He can't resist temptation if he is spiritually weak. You have to know. There is no way to do this other than taking the time to really talk to them often. If you don't really know them, you can't hit this careful balance of challenge and growth versus failure and danger.

We've had lots of back and forth motion, and have found you can't expect constant growth in maturity. I've had times I've been so delighted with a child's progress, only to see them fall down. Maturity comes like any part of the Christian life - through battle, despite opposition, in slides backward and baby steps forward. I believe, though, that if you consistently strive for your young men to be young men; if you encourage them to stand for themselves and prepare them to do so; if you are aiming them towards an independent stand for God; you will be amazed at what they become. Our eldest is lightyears ahead of where we were at his age - and that's a great thing! May all our children exceed us in the things that matter - the things of God.

Truth and Consequences

Every time I think about this I get mad, so it must be time to write one of my banging my head against the wall screeds. I recently attended a very pleasant barbecue with a number of brethren in Christ visiting from a church overseas. These were thoughtful, well-spoken Christians who were in the states to attend a conference and to encourage a couple of families from their assembly who were planting a church here.

While we were chatting, the conversation turned to the state of the church and by way of explanation, the relationship of the citizens to their government in a communist tyranny I have personal knowledge of. My fellow Christian asked didn't they have elections in that country and I answered that ostensibly, yes, they do, but that they made no difference whatsoever in the government as you had no choice who to vote for. This serious, intelligent brother then said, "Well, I don't see that it is any different there than it is in the United States!" !!!

I couldn't believe my ears, so I said, "Huh? What do you mean?" "Well, he said, voting doesn't make any difference in what they do in Washington. America's no more free than [that country]." I was stunned. I pointed out that we were sitting out in the open, worshiping God together. That no one in America was afraid to worship or evangelize for fear of going to jail. That no one had been tortured for preaching. That no one in America was afraid of speaking the truth for fear there would be a knock on his door that night. That people had the right to choose their education and occupation. That we had the freedom to even abandon all institutional schools and teach our children ourselves - discipling them, when I personally knew people in other countries whose children were taught against the values the parents stood for in a way we don't even understand here and they had no choice at all - their children must attend public school by law. That we had the right to vote against politicians we disagreed with and see them lose their seat. "What in the world do you mean there is no difference?"

He'd never thought of it that way. He came from a pretty free country, and a liberal media that makes ours all look like moderates. He really didn't know that Christians in [communist tyranny] are horribly persecuted and have no freedom in the important things of life. He thought we in America had no control over our government, that it was totally under the control of our president, who had run amuck. He really didn't have any understanding that America was free and that our government was responsive to the people and that many of us supported our government's international actions based on principle.

Here's what makes me mad: my brother in Christ was rendered incapable of supporting God's people intelligently in prayer and of understanding the issues of world politics because of his source of knowledge about the world - his country's very biased media. From the very beginning of printing, Christians have been at the forefront of the information revolution. This is one reason why.

How can we depend on those who are opposed to all we are to provide us with the information we need to make decisions about the world? How can we depend on them to share the good news of Jesus Christ? How can we trust them to tell us the true state of the church? We can't. They will ever try to lull us to sleep, to spin the news to make us choose sides against our own principles, to highlight scandal within the church like it was the secret norm, to discourage us in the battle we face. We will be in sad shape if our only source of news is the enemy's propaganda.

I recently told a correspondent in a not-free country what Christians in the free world were hearing about - that persecution had been stepped up in his country. That foreign missionaries had been expelled and that church activities had been raided and leaders arrested. He had not heard - the media is under state control there and most of the Christian internet is blocked. He was thankful to be able to pray for his brethren and to know to be cautious for himself.

This is why sites like WorldNetDaily and Voice of the Martyrs are so important. They tell the stories the mainstream media ignores. We need to accept the responsibility to inform ourselves and to be seekers of the truth. That's why the guerilla bloggers who risk their lives in other countries to inform their countrymen are so important. That's why the organizations that strive to bypass the firewalls and internet restrictions of those governments and to provide safe and changing ISPs for free communication are so critical. Let's support these Gutenbergs - in prayer and financially - as they strive to give the freedom of the mind to closed countries - that the gospel would be preached and God's people protected.

Please Pray for the Business

Dear Friends,

Hal is meeting with a customer tomorrow morning and may receive that order we've been praying about so long. This customer is a fellow believer and we really enjoy working with him. Would you join us in asking for God's protection and blessing in this venture if it is His will?

Thank you so, so much!

Triple Coupons

Tomorrow Triple Coupons start at Lowe's Foods, so I'm off to sort through my coupon binder and the Lowe's ad to plan the day. I've learned so much through the smartspending_nc group at yahoogroups - I highly recommend it!

Praying for Provision!

Tonight I'm very thankful for my brother who sent us a nice gift to help with the bills today. May the Lord bless him: "Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have I give you." Indeed!

I'm also thinking of the new customer we're working with who is showing samples we made him at the Christian trade show in Atlanta this week and the Gift and Home show next week. Please pray with us that he sells a huge amount of the stuff he wants us to provide :-) They are a Christian family, too, so you are praying a blessing on brethren!

God is good and He has never failed to provide for us. We are so thankful to Him!

Preserved!

O Trinity of love and power!

Our family shield in danger’s hour;

From rock and tempest, fire and foe,

Protect us wheresoever we go;

Thus evermore shall rise to Thee

Glad hymns of praise from land and sea.

We had more excitement than we planned on the 4th this year!

The Lord enabled us to visit our favorite spot - Hal's family's lake house on the 4th of July on the way back from a customer visit. We had a wonderful 4th of July dinner of hotdogs, fried chicken, and baked beans, then walked out on the dock to enjoy the evening. It was a beautiful site on the lake - there were hundreds of boats out - with their running lights they looked like lightening bugs (fireflies for you yankees out there). It was a very clear night and the fireworks from the military Recreation Area and the Sailing Club were gorgeous. We all sat quietly out on the dock and sang patriotic songs as we watched the fireworks. It sounded great out there on the water.

As the fireworks came to a close, Hal started telling the boys stories of patriotic heroism. Right at the climax of a story about the Navy Seals, "Crunch. Crack! Gloosh!" The dock collapsed under us and left us all in the water. I yelled, "The baby!" Hal shouted back, "She's safe! I've got her!" and I shouted, "Sound Off!" The boys, all trained to call out their names in order of age (we do that whenever we start the van to leave somewhere), called out their names. All safe! David started crying and I said, "Are you hurt?" "Well, no." he said and stopped crying :-)

Caleb had been standing at the far end of the deck, where it collapsed most completely and had gone down all the way to his mouth, then clinged to the boards as the water was over his head at that point, and he wasn't able to get out immediately. Hal was between me and Caleb. Matthew and Samuel were close to the end that still clung to the boards of one side (thankfully next to the pier part). They climbed up to a safe part and then came down to lift and carry their younger brothers out. When they got out safely, they came back for Susannah. She didn't want to leave our arms, but was very thankful to get back on dry land! Then they helped me out and Hal was able to help Caleb climb out. Hal, our captain, was the last to leave the danger zone!

When we got back to the house, we prayed and thanked God with all our hearts that he had preserved us all! It was pitch dark, and hard to see, we were fully dressed, and with the boards breaking, it would have been very easy for someone to have been dragged under. God was so merciful to us!

When everyone had put on dry clothes, we all cuddled up and took turns telling "our stories". It was a blessing to hear the love and concern each of the children had for each other. Hal and I were both incredibly proud of our children. The boys each "played the man" by being calm and courageous to keep from panicking, and to work to get their family safely out of trouble.

About the dock: it turns out the two joists that have supported the middle of the deck for 25 or more years rotted out of the pilings and just fell out - you can see the rotted wood for about 12 inches where they were "attached" - looks like a pile of punk, not a piling! Part of the reason this thing has rotted is the county's ridiculous rule that you can only improve your lake property by 10% a year without an outrageously expensive permit. Hello, county council, not everyone that has lakefront property is rich, sometimes they've just had it a long time.

And so, it was a very memorable 4th of July, and the biggest fireworks were in our hearts as we realized God's mercy and favor to us.

The Samples Are Here!

Our God is MIGHTY. Although we were repeatedly told last night that it wasn't possible, Customs cleared our package at about 2am this morning. It caught a flight out of Ohio at 5:30, arrived in Raleigh at 7:14am, and arrived in Wilson at 9:30. We just found out they had another glitch on delivery, but God had mercy and the samples have just arrived here!

He does answer prayer! When we went to bed, it seemed hopeless, when we woke up it was instate. Truly He gives to His beloved even in their sleep!

When it arrives, we'll open it, compare to the specs - Please Pray the Samples are Right! - take photographs of them and drive them to our customer in South Carolina - the old blood pressure can't take shipping them again! Please pray for safety, and that our customer will buy LOTS!!!!!

We are so thankful for your prayers and love. We praise God for you. He is so faithful!

Pray for Customs Clearance!

We have critical samples hung up in U.S. customs that our customer (a brother in Christ we believe) desperately needs in a very few days for a trade show. This is our current opportunity to make a sale we badly need. Please pray. Thank you for being there!

The Reagan Diaries

I've been dipping into The Reagan Diaries while Hal's been reading it preparatory to writing a review. Wow. I don't have much time this morning, so this is going to be pretty telegraphic, but here are my observations:

Reagan was real. He was the same guy in private he seemed in public.
Reagan was a real Christian. Great quote to follow one day later.
Reagan was totally on top of the issues.
Reagan was a totally likeable and engaging person.
The presidency is incredibly stressful.

It's great, you'll love it, go buy it!

"The Suckers Tickle Your Throat on the Way Down"

This is Pineapple Squid Curry, which our son was served for supper last Sunday night. He's craving homecooking a bit (No!).

This week he was delighted to find a grocery store with a few Western things like butter, cheese, and onion bagels. This morning he found a pan in the apartment, figured out how to work the gas stove, burnt the butter three times, and frambled* some eggs. He put a couple of slices of cheese on top, buttered the bagel with his chopsticks and had a comfort food fest.

Grandfather likes "fresh" air**, so keeps all the windows open and the air conditioner off. Near as we can tell, the weather in their city is just exactly like it is in Raleigh - every day. I know, weird, but the temperature in the two cities always seems to be within two degrees. Go figure. Anyway, it's just as hot there as it is here! Our son is delighted to have a window air conditioner in his own room that he turns down to 68 degrees and lies in blissful comfort.

*Frambled is our families terminology for the cooking technique a lazy boy who wants scrambled eggs. but not two dirty cooking dishes uses: Crack the eggs into the hot skillet and stir like mad :-)

**Fresh is used here only to denote outside air. The air in this part of Asia could not be described as fresh in any way, shape, or form. The pollution there is enough to make even a conservative like me appreciate the EPA.

"A Legislative Solution"

I was disgusted but not surprised to hear today that Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi would like to see "a legislative solution" to talk radio. What? That's right, they would like to see government control of privately funded speech because they don't like the content of it. Folks, that's not a solution, that's censorship and it's expressly forbidden by the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of
the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the
Government for a redress of grievances.

That is precisely what is meant by "no law" "abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press;" ladies!

The liberals have been confused about censorship for a long time, though. If people tried to persuade a store not to carry an obscense book or a school not to require the children to read an inappropriate book, they screamed censorship. Friends, choosing not to sell something your customers disapprove of is not censorship. Not requiring something is not censorship.

Censorship is government control of speech and publication --- and that's what they are calling for now. Because, in the liberal mentality, if the poor dumb citizenry won't choose to believe or do what you want them to, then use the force of law. There's another name for that: tyranny.

The Episcopal Church Bats Zero Again

The ability of liberals to hold two antithetical ideas at one time never ceases to amaze me. Today, the Episcopal Church bats zero again in its reaction to the rogue "priest" who claims to be both Islamic and Christian in today's WorldNetDaily:

A veteran Episcopal priest says she became a Muslim just over a year ago and now
worships at a mosque Fridays – but that hasn't stopped her from donning her
white collar Sunday mornings. "I am both Muslim and Christian, just like I'm
both an American of African descent and a woman. I'm 100 percent both," Rev. Ann
Holmes Redding told the Seattle Times.

It is sad enough that someone could seriously think that being both a Christian and a Muslim is compatible, but that her authority in the Episcopal Church also doesn't get it makes you want to bang your head on the wall until it runs with blood:

Redding's embrace of Islam has been affirmed by her bishop, Rt. Rev.
Vincent Warner, who thinks the interfaith possibilities are exciting.

Whatever happened to:

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes
to the Father except through Me.

How can that be compatible with a religion that says Christ is only one of the prophets and not as important as Mohammed?

And that doesn't even address the question of Christ's diety! Please! Can we at least be consistent and logical? I'd love to see even some basic common sense in this body!

Gone Fishin'

We're up at the Lake and I'm very surprised to find a wifi network that we can access tonight. How strange - we don't even have a telephone or tv up here! I'm so glad I can give you an update.

Number one son is feeling much better and seems to be finding his sea legs in the new environment. I am so thankful!

David caught his first fish - a little catfish - yesterday! And Samuel caught his grandpa - a huge granddaddy of a cat - about 18 inches long and a good five inches across the head. That old fellow was delicious!

We are all enjoying a much needed rest with lots of fishing, swimming and swinging - in the hammock that is! Hal is doing a combo rest and work thing - Monday he has a very important customer call ( and hopes to get an appointment for another - you could pray about that) and another call yet on Tuesday. We so appreciate your prayers for God's blessing on our endeavors - and for His soon provision.

The rest of us will reluctantly be coming back to reality in a few days. In the meantime, if I can get another signal - I've been writing one of my blog rants in my head for several hours - can't wait to share it with you!

A Hunger for Spiritual Things

A dear friend of mine, iykwim, went to visit an "official" church in a closed country this weekend. He was very surprised to find a very lively crowd and service that was packed out. I mean they had full overflow rooms and even the halls were full. He said folks were singing and praising with full hearts. It was incredibly moving that even under the strictures and observation of an unfriendly authority that folks were beating down the doors to hear any truth at all. "He who seeks Me shall find Me, when he searches for Me with all his heart." Dear Father, please send workers into the harvest that all who seek may speedily find! Amen. Come Lord Jesus!

Sick in Asia

Thank you so much for praying for our poor dear son sick in Asia. He's feeling a good bit better and just went in to work (remember it's Wednesday morning their time). I'm about to talk to him, so we may have a further update later.

Prayer Alert

Our son has come down with what we call "the epizootic" - meaning some unidentified stomach illness - probably short and nasty. He's started some meds and taken the day off, but we'd appreciate it if you'd pray for him.

He wanted me to tell you that being sick in Asia is no bed of ease - he's felt floors more forgiving than his bed. Seriously, you wouldn't believe how firm a firm bed is in Asia. I told him it would be very good for his back - if he survived the first couple of weeks :-)

Just wanting to hear his voice

We haven't talked to our son for more than a sentence or two on his uncle's cell phone, but we found out yesterday that his uncle has given him a cell phone of his own. Wonderful! Can we afford to call it?

We've used Skype for some time. If you download Skype (10 minutes for the whole process for us), you can use the mike and speakers on your computer to talk to anyone else who has Skype in the world -- Free! You can also buy "SkypeCredit" which will allow you to call landlines or mobile lines at extremely reasonable rates: $29.95 for unlimited calling in the U.S. or Canada for a year. Calling Asian land or mobile lines is 2.1-2.4 cents a minute! That is amazing to someone as old as I am! I remember how excited we were when we got our long distance service here in the U.S. for 15 cents a minute!

I also gave our "customer no service" cellular company, Alltel, a call and they actually came through with something at least possible: For $3.99 a month, we could call Asian cells for 20 cents a minute. It sure isn't Skype, but we'll be able to call wherever we are.

Why do I call Alltel our "customer no service" company? That's a story for another day! I'm just about to head out to the Tea Room with a dear friend. Oh, I hope the children don't mess up the house (Hal is here, but very distracted with business)!

Update: I forgot to mention that Skype is secure - that's a great plus when you are phoning into countries who don't value privacy.

Pray for the Persecuted Church

I have just been reading a website about the persecuted church. It really made me sad how asleep we, their free brethren, are to their needs. Why do we seldom hear a call for prayer for our suffering brothers and sisters? Why are we not raising funds to support their families while they are imprisoned? What would we need if the head of our family was taken away? I know first hand that in one country where many are persecuted, that a dollar will go 7-10 times as far as it will here. Let's hear their cry!

For obvious reasons, I will restrain myself and not publish a list of sites here, but if you google "persecuted church" or "persecution" and country names, you'll find a lot to pray about and many to help. Please help.

Safely Met!

Our son has been safely met by my brother in Asia!

Must tell you all that I felt an urgent need to pray for him this morning after his plane landed, probably while he was clearing customs - sometimes a challenge in that country. After some time, I felt a release and didn't need to pray anymore. Just a few moments later, the phone rang and my brother was calling, "I've got your son." Amen. Thank you, Lord!

Homeschool Moment: The Great Circle Route

Tonight over supper we were talking about the flight our eldest son is taking today to Asia. We first looked at the flat world map on our kitchen table (I covered it with roll plastic bought at Wal-Mart and we've got a US one on there, too - we have a big table!). It looked pretty obvious that his plane would travel right across America and the Pacific to Asia. Not so, Grasshopper! I asked one of the children to run go get the globe. If you hold a piece of string between where you are and where you are going in Asia and try to get the string as short as possible, you will be surprised at the actual route. It is much closer to travel north to go west to Asia from the U.S. East coast! It's called the Great Circle Route! Check out this Great Circle Mapper. It looks confusing, but just type in two airport codes (you can look them up on the same page and map! For example, if you type in "JFK-NRT" (JFK, New York to Narita, Tokyo, Japan) and press "Display Map" it is amazing! You may not recognize the continents at first because you are looking down at the North Pole!

BTW, we'd sure appreciate prayer for Eldest Son! He has just a little more than an hour to make it through one of the busiest, most confusing airports in the world to make his connection and his plane is running a little late!

First Girl Moments

It's such a treat seeing the differences between our six boys and our little girl! The other day, the poor dear had to be anesthetized for a medical procedure. As she's coming out of the anesthesia, Hal asked her, "Would you like a popsicle, Sweetheart?" She moaned, "Chocolate. I need chocolate." That's my girl!

The Decline and Fall of Civilization

I thought reality TV couldn't get any worse until I read this ghoulish piece in which Dutch TV show contestants compete for the kidneys of a terminally ill lady. Can this possibly be the land of godly William the Silent? The country of Haarlem, whose citizens nearly starved to the last man rather than give up their right to worship the Savior by surrendering to Alva? How the spiritually mighty have fallen! May the Lord prevent us from having descendents like these.

Update: The producers say that their show was a hoax - that the terminally ill lady was really an actress and the show was meant to draw attention to the need for organ donors. I fail to understand how this improves matters. Not only are they offering this "entertainment" but they are lying about it :-P

Wanted: Praying Friends

Our seventeen-year-old son will be leaving this Sunday to spend three months in an Asian country, working with our brother. This will be a *very* challenging time for him -- he speaks a little of the difficult language, but he will be living with our sister-in-law's father, who speaks no English at all. He will be making his way around the largest city in the world by himself and working very long hours with our very demanding brother. There are no known believers in the situation, limited if any fellowship with the expatriate church, and not even Christian websites, because they are blocked there.

In other words, he will be simply living faithfully among them. What an opportunity to impact the world!

This Wednesday is our day to fast and pray for him, as well as the many trials we've been going through in our lives in the past weeks in work, ministry, health, home repair, and more. We are feeling very weary and need to seek the Lord's face. We would appreciate any of you who feel led pray for him and us. Thanks for all your friendship!

In Christ,
Hal and Melanie

Memorial Day the Right Way

We are proud to know the Scott Brown family, who every year put on the perfect Memorial Day picnic for the entire community. Imagine a beautiful rural farm with glassy lakes, a big circus tent with honored veterans sharing their memories, prayers for the soldiers and their families, hayrides and military equipment to examine for the children, patriotic music, North Carolina barbeque and great fellowship! It's a wonderful way to spend the day honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, who've laid down their lives for friends - their fellow citizens - in a way that honors God, especially. If you're in the neighborhood (3721 Quarry Road, Wake Forest, NC 27587), come on over. If you aren't, I hope the Lord will raise up someone like Scott in your area - maybe it's you :-)

Check out Scott's blog for some enticing pictures!

Massacring Memorial Day

I thought the Democratic candidates for president couldn't shock me. I really thought I had such low expectations that no one could fall below them. That is, until I read John Edwards' reprehensible recommendations to violate Memorial Day picnics and parades with anti-war protests. Honestly. If he thinks that the troops will feel supported by protests implying they are wrong to fight, if he thinks the new war widow will be comforted by thinking her husband died in vain, if he thinks the children whose Daddies are in Iraq will be cheered up by wondering if Daddy's doing right, he just plain doesn't have the judgement to be dog catcher, much less president. I thought about calling this post "John Edwards: Shameless Self-Promotion" because that's what it is.

The Most Basic Unit of Civilization: The Home

I just found an absolutely fantastic quote by Theodore Kuyler:

The household is the fountainhead of society. Both the commonwealth and the church grow out of the family. They both take their character from the family. The real seed-corn whence our republic sprang was the Christian households, which stepped forth from the cabin of the Mayflower, or which set up the family altar of the Hollander and the Huguenot on Manhattan Island or in the sunny South. All our best characters, best legislation, best institutions, and best church-life were cradled in those early homes. They were the taproot of the republic, and of the American churches.

For one, I care but little for the government which presides at Washington in comparison with the government which rules the eight or ten millions of American homes. No administration can seriously harm us if our home-life is pure, frugal, and godly. No statesmanship or legislation can save us, if once our homes become the abodes of ignorance or the nestling-places of profligacy. The home rules the nation. If the home is demoralized it will ruin it.

There are several essentials to a good home. Wealth is not one of those essentials, for in many an abode of honest poverty contentment dwells. Out of such lowly cottages and cabins have sprung our greatest noblest men and women. The little clapboarded farm houses of New England have been the nurseries of our greatest divines, most useful philanthropists and devoted missionaries. The riches of those humble dwellings were industrious hands and praying hearts. God's Word was the light of the homestead. The Bible, the spinning-wheel, and the family alter stood side by side. The growing refinements of later years have introduced into many rural habitations the piano, the pictures, and the pile of books. But let our people see to it that the increase of culture, money and refinement is not attended with any decrease of homespun frugality, domestic purity, and the fear of God.

A true good home is not only one in which God reigns, but it must be an attractive spot. Even all the consciousness Christian parents do not seem to find this out. The result is that the theatre, the billiard-saloon, the club, the convivial party managed to "out-bid" the home, and to draw away the sons and the daughters. It is too often the fault of his parents, that a sprightly boy prefers some other evening resort to the stupid or disagreeable place in which he eats and sleeps. If this home were made more attractive he would not seek the haunts of danger and depravity. And one of the surest methods of keeping a husband out of a dram-shop, or a son out of the haunts of sin, is the "exclusive power of a new affection" for their home. Everything that attracts our children to their homes is very apt to be, in the end, an attraction towards heaven.

Theodore Kuyler

A House NOT Divided: Promoting Unity in the Homeschool Family Notes & Resources

A House NOT Divided: Promoting Unity in the Homeschool Family

I. Intro
II. Family Vision/Mission

Practical Ways to Impart a Sense of Unity in the Family

III. A Family That Desires Unity Tears Down Obstacles

A. Our evil habits destroy our regard and love for one another.
1. Don't allow pesting or bullying
2. Don't tolerate name calling
3. Punish provocation as well as reaction
4. Stop sarcasm and smartmouthing
5. Make competition healthy
6. Encourage peacemaking
7. Encourage shared emotions Romans 12:15-16

B. How can we change?
1. Recognize that bickering and discord is sin Proverbs 6:16-19
2. Deal with it as seriously as we do other sin

IV. A Family That Desire Unity Builds Memories

A. Form family traditions
1. Holiday means "holy day"
2. Feasting is approved by Scripture
3. Form traditions around other holidays
4. Let anticipation build
5. Be unique and don't be afraid to be alone

B. Share interests and accomplishments
1. Develop family hobbies and shared interests
2. Share adversity
3. Seek out a challenge

C. Be sure your children know you value them
1. Children pick up your attitude toward them.
2. Children will also pick up your attitude toward more babies. Psalm 127:3
3. Your parenting is impacted if you believe your children are a gift from the Lord

V. A Family That Desires Unity Reminds Themselves of It Everyday in Little Ways

A. They identify with their family
1. Matching clothes or dress code
2. Fellowship as families
3. Have a healthy sense of pride in your family
4. Have special family code language and code words

B. They guard each other's hearts and feelings
1. Criticism stops at the threshold
2. This starts with the parents
3. He's my brother...
4. Wash your dirty laundry privately

C. They spend time together
1. Quantity trumps quality
2. Bring a child on errands
3. Take the family on business
4. Read or play together as a family
5. Remind yourself of why you are doing this Deuteronomy 32:46-47

VI. Conclusion
A. Summary
B. Glorify God in your family
C. Oswald Chambers quote

"Our family life in Perth was a very united one; each evening, after the home-lessons were done, was given up to games of various kinds. We found our enjoyment and entertainment in our home; no outside amusements could possibly compare with the fun and happiness to be found there. We never had any desire to be out playing or walking with chums...
"I feel traits in my character which I knew not of before, and it causes me to bow in deeper gratitude for that home training which I have now left, for the training and disciplines of life. Oh! What a mighty influence home life has on us! Indeed, we do not know how deep a debt we owe to our mothers and fathers and their training."

D. Theodore Kuyler quote (see more of this fantastic quote in another blog entry here)

Everything that attracts our children to their homes is very apt to be, in the end, an attraction towards heaven.


Resource:

Doorposts Brother-offended Checklist

The Usual Stuff

Well, we had our usual conference week - our home air conditioner croaked, the van needed a trip to the tire store, and I had a medical crisis. Ho hum. It seems to happen every year:

2006 House air conditioner out, van air conditioner broke, hotel gave us the wrong room, speaking clothes trapped in broken dry cleaner's machine.

2005 Wreck on the way to conference, raced to go to the children's dentists appointments first (30 miles away) only to find they had cancelled the appointments, Hal had to travel separately, we all got in way late

2004 I'm on pregnancy bedrest and in a motorized wheel chair. Our room isn't ready and we wait for hours, spent all Saturday night in the emergency room.

Are you getting the picture? Sure looks like somebody doesn't want us here :-)

"Yes, We Know What Causes That" - Resource List

Here are a few resources to go along with our workshop "Yes, We Know What Causes That",
North Carolinians for Home Education Annual Conference
Session 11 -- Saturday, May 24, 2007

Theodore Roosevelt on a tour of the Midwest

"Three cheers for Mr. and Mrs. Bower and their really satisfactory American family of twelve children!"

Books to Help You Make the Decision or Explain It To Others

A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ by Rick and Jan Hess

Be Fruitful and Multiply: What the Bible Says About Having Children by Nancy Campbell

The Bible and Birth Control by Charles Provan

The Way Home: Beyond Feminism and Back to Reality by Mary Pride

Email Groups to Encourage You

Quiver-Full! is an email discussion group for those committed to or interested in the Lord planning their family.

MOMYS Mothers of Many Young Siblings is for mothers who have ever had four or more children eight years and younger at the same time -- others can subscribe as "read only MOMYS". This one is a great encouragement and you know the advice comes from people who really know.

Biblical Resources - "To the Law and to the testimony!" (NKJV unless noted)

Man and woman were created to be fruitful

Genesis 1:27-28 - The Mandate from Creation, before the Fall

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; ...

Genesis 9:1, 7 - Repeated to Noah after the Flood

So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth ... And as for you, be fruitful and multiply; Bring forth abundantly in the earth And multiply in it.”

Genesis 35:10-11 - Repeated at the establishment of God's covenant people

And God said to him, “Your name is Jacob; your name shall not be called Jacob anymore, but Israel shall be your name.” So He called his name Israel. Also God said to him: “I am God Almighty. Be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall proceed from you, and kings shall come from your body.

Children are a primary purpose of marriage

Malachi 2:14-15

Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.

Children are a blessing and a gift from God

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

God's people should expect to have children from Him

Psalm 128:1-4

Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.

Leviticus 26:9 - God's promise to His people

"For I will look on you favorably and make you fruitful, multiply you and confirm My covenant with you."

1 Chronicles 25:5 - Seventeen children given as a special blessing

All these were the sons of Heman the king's seer to exalt him according to the words of God, for God gave fourteen sons and three daughters to Heman. (NASB)

God provides for His children

Psalm 37:25

I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread.

Raising a family is meant for hard times, too

Exodus 1:7-9 - Israel as a refugee nation in a time of famine

But the children of Israel were fruitful and increased abundantly, multiplied and grew exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them. Now there arose a new king over Egypt, ... And he said to his people, “Look, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we ... "

Jeremiah 29:5-7 - God's word to His people carried off to Babylonian exile

"Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters—that you may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the LORD for it; for in its peace you will have peace."

Homeschooled from the Beginning Resource List

A few resources to go along with my workshop on teaching your little ones.

Getting Ready for School:
The Three R's by Ruth Beechick

Devotions:
A Catechism for Boys and Girls
Divine and Moral Songs for Children by Isaac Watts
Your Bible - read early and often to them!
Buy several copies of the hymnbook your church uses for use at home!

Science Resources:
Spring and Summer in North Carolina Forests - These are older than this age range, but nice to begin reading aloud.
Fall and Winter in North Carolina Forests
The Nature Readers
Pets in a Jar
Usborne First Book of Nature
Lyrical Life Science

History Resources
Greenleaf Guides
Tapestry of Grace
Veritas Press Their catalog alone is a great resource. You don't need scripted lessons at this age! Your local library :-)

Written by Me!

All of the posts labeled "By Hal" are actually by me - Melanie. Blogger did this when it migrated our blogs to google accounts and I don't have time to change them all! Sorry!

Live Blogging the NCHE Conference

I'll be live blogging the NCHE Homeschool Conference at NCHE Conference Blog. See you there!

A Letter to Children Who Have Lost a Parent

I am posting this for the children of a MOMYS, who just lost their father unexpectedly. I wrote this a few years ago when a dear friend's husband died. As I read over just now, I thought that others might benefit if I posted it more publicly.

My dear young friends,

I am writing because I have been through what you are going through. My father died when I was 14 years old. I felt so sad and confused and frightened. I wondered where we would get the money to live on and if we’d have to move. God provided all we needed and we stayed right there in our house and my mother still lives there - and it’s been 25 years!! Now my children go to spend the night in my room. I was afraid that everything would change, that we wouldn’t be a family any more without Daddy. Although Daddy wasn’t with us, and we missed him awfully, everything didn’t change. Mama was still Mama, we were still a family, we still celebrated holidays as much as we could like we did before - and we had lots of happy memories of Daddy to share.

I was also sad. I was sad that Daddy wouldn’t see me graduate or be able to walk me down the aisle when I got married. God wiped away my tears and comforted me. I know my Daddy is in heaven and that our Lord is telling him all about us. I know he can’t wait until we all get to heaven and he can meet my children. When I graduated, all my grandparents came, and I knew Dad was proud of me, even though he couldn’t be there. When I got married, my brother gave me away and I never loved him so much as I did then. It drew our hearts together. It was beautiful and special and nothing spoiled it.

I also felt funny when Dad died. Sometimes I wanted to cry and cry and cry. But sometimes I wanted to laugh and be carefree and pretend that awful things never happen and I was worried that people would think that I didn’t love Daddy if I did that. It’s okay! When you feel like crying, cry. And pray to the Lord for comfort. When you feel like laughing, laugh. Anybody with any sense knows you love your Dad and he wants you to be joyful. We are Christians and we shouldn’t mourn like the pagans do - with no hope. My father is in heaven - perfectly well, enjoying the Lord, and I know he wants the same for me. Don’t ever be afraid to be joyful!

I worried about my Mama, too. She seemed so sad and worried. I wondered how I could take care of her and help her. Now that I’m a mother, I wouldn’t want my children to worry about me. I am stronger than they are, both physically and spiritually. I would want my children to trust me to take care of them. How can you help your mother? Be honest with her. Tell her what you are thinking about. Share your feelings. Remember your Daddy and help her teach the little children about him and share those memories with them. Obey her and do your school work and chores. Give her lots of hugs and don't worry if she just has to cry sometimes. That’s a great time to pray for her.

It has been over 25 years since my father died, when I was fourteen. I can see the truth of God’s Word when it says that God would be a father to the fatherless and a judge for the widows. He has taken care of my mother and brother and me in a great way. We miss Daddy and we will never forget him, but we are happy adults. God has been so good to me! He has loved me and saved me, given me a great husband, blessed me with seven wonderful children. I wish I had known when my Daddy died, that everything would be okay, that I would be happy again, that my life would turn out just right. That’s why I’m writing to you. I thought it might encourage you to hear from someone who has suffered what you are suffering and has seen God’s mercy. He is faithful. He has taken care of me and He will take care of you. He promises to do it and He always keeps His promises. I love you all for your mother’s sake and I’ll be praying for you.

With much love and concern,
Melanie Young,
daughter of "Bill" Smith, 1940-1978

A/C Then and Now - and NOT

It was when we lived in Louisiana that I first understood how people lived without air conditioning in the South. Seriously, Louisiana is so hot that no one I knew did anything at all they didn't absolutely have to outside between May and September. The sweat would roll down my back from walking from my house to the car - under the carport!

We went to visit Oakley Plantation where John James Audubon was he taught drawing to the family's daughter (what a tutor!) and where he collected very many of his specimens. It was such a hot day, we dreaded going into the house, but in the house, it was warm, but comfortable! The docent pointed out the high ceilings, carefully oriented windows and louvered porches that gave the house ventilation and kept the heat moving out. It was amazing the engineering in that old house!

Shortly after that, Hurricane Andrew came through Louisiana and knocked out our power and water for some time. We very quickly discovered that our house was NOT designed for living in without air conditioning. In fact, it was absolutely uninhabitable without air conditioning! It gave me a real admiration for those who used their wits to combat the challenges of nature and build houses like Oakley.

Sitting here in my very hot modern Dutch Colonial, I'm wishing I was back Oakley Plantation - well, maybe not, it's a lot hotter in Louisiana than it is in North Carolina - but I am realizing that the house, like our old one, is NOT designed for this. You about can't get a breeze in here no matter what you do!

Why are we so hot today? Our air conditioner died Thursday - thankfully we have had a cool weekend! We just heard the bad news that we have to either have a new compressor ($1000) or a new unit ($4000). Our air conditioner man (a homeschool dad himself!) recommends the new unit since ours is over 20 years old, but then again, he hasn't seen the exchequer! Our new business is not paying yet and it's been a long time, a long, long time, since the last salary check :-)

However, we've come to the conclusion that air conditioning is not optional. Not in this house. Not in the South. Wish I had a house like Oakley today!

The Annual Homeschool Panic

Hal was checking email tonight and ran across an email from one of our friends who seemed pretty wrought up about testing and something about curriculum. Hal said, "What's the matter? Everything okay?" I told him, "No problem, it's just annual homeschool panic."

It cracks me up how everyone I know thinks everybody else is calm, collected, with an orderly, peaceful school day. Their children rise at 5am, bring their mother breakfast in bed, do all their chores, and then get started on schoolwork right away! Everyone else's house is neat. Everyone else has a weekly menu that everyone loves. Everyone else has children who just adore to share their toys and books with their siblings. Baloney! Wait, other folks might spell it correctly: Balogna!

This time of year all the bright, shiny new catalogs come out - with pictures of clean, sweet children working hard at their schoolwork. It's time for conference, too - 50,000 SF of curriculum that must be better than what I'm using! Discontentment is rampant

The truth of the matter is that homeschooling is a front line spiritual battle. It's a battle over who will disciple our children and you can bet that the enemy will not relinquish them easily. After nine months of constant warfare - ineffective curriculum (sometimes something else is better :-), sibling squabbles, teaching the same lesson you've taught to five other children, housework that never even gets close to caught up, phones that ring constantly, learning difficulties, transcript woes, the family crisis that cost you weeks of schooling that has to be made up -- after all that, is it any wonder you are tired? Is it any wonder you are worn out? Is it any wonder that you are second guessing yourself? Usually by May, I can't stand to even think about homeschooling - it makes me feel too guilty! It's the Annual Homeschool Panic.

Here's my prescription: Go to your state homeschool conference. I know you don't want to - I don't either - I think it'll make me feel worse. It never does, though. Instead, I am reminded of why I am doing this. I am fed and equipped to start again. I get new ideas and see new things. I realize I'm not alone. Give it a try.