An odd thing has happened over the years. In a myriad of different ways, for a wide-ranging variety of purposes, with connections from Connecticut and Massachusetts to North Carolina, I kept running into Cindy Adams online. From seeking our help in homeschooling when she was adopting a group of children to the grown child of a Connecticut friend looking for a family to stay with to the MOMYS group, Cindy and I kept getting connected.
I am so thankful for that. Cindy is an incredibly godly woman whose prayer, encouragement and writing has helped me to grow in the Lord and encouraged me in trials. You are missing a treat if you don't check out her blog, Faithful Promises, and read what she has written.
Cindy died of cancer Monday, but she lives! She is with the Lord, beholding the face of her dear Father in heaven. Her husband Howard and ten beloved children are missing her mightily, though. Please pray for them!
And dear Adams children, I wrote this several years ago when the Lord took home a friend of mine. The children of several MOMYS who have parents in heaven have read it and been encouraged by it. May it encourage you!
My dear young friends,
I am writing because I have been through what you are going through. My father died when I was 14 years old. I felt so sad and confused and frightened. I wondered where we would get the money to live on and if we’d have to move. God provided all we needed and we stayed right there in our house and my mother still lives there - and it’s been over 30 years!! Now my children go to spend the night in my room. I was afraid that everything would change, that we wouldn’t be a family any more without Daddy. Although Daddy wasn’t with us, and we missed him awfully, everything didn’t change. Mama was still Mama, we were still a family, we still celebrated holidays as much as we could like we did before - and we had lots of happy memories of Daddy to share.
I was also sad. I was sad that Daddy wouldn’t see me graduate or be able to walk me down the aisle when I got married. God wiped away my tears and comforted me. I know my Daddy is in heaven and that our Lord is telling him all about us. I know he can’t wait until we all get to heaven and he can meet my children. When I graduated, all my grandparents came, and I knew Dad was proud of me, even though he couldn’t be there. When I got married, my brother gave me away and I never loved him so much as I did then. It drew our hearts together. It was beautiful and special and nothing spoiled it.
I also felt funny when Dad died. Sometimes I wanted to cry and cry and cry. But sometimes I wanted to laugh and be carefree and pretend that awful things never happen and I was worried that people would think that I didn’t love Daddy if I did that. It’s okay! When you feel like crying, cry. And pray to the Lord for comfort. When you feel like laughing, laugh. Anybody with any sense knows you love your Dad and he wants you to be joyful. We are Christians and we shouldn’t mourn like the pagans do - with no hope. My father is in heaven - perfectly well, enjoying the Lord, and I know he wants the same for me. Don’t ever be afraid to be joyful!
I worried about my Mama, too. She seemed so sad and worried. I wondered how I could take care of her and help her. Now that I’m a mother, I wouldn’t want my children to worry about me. I am stronger than they are, both physically and spiritually. I would want my children to trust me to take care of them. How can you help your father? Be honest with him. Tell him what you are thinking about. Share your feelings. Remember your Mama and help him teach the little children about her and share those memories with them. Obey him and do your school work and chores. Give him lots of hugs and don't worry if he just seems sad and grumpy sometimes. That’s a great time to pray for him.
It has been over 30 years since my father died, when I was fourteen. I can see the truth of God’s Word when it says that God would be a father to the fatherless and a judge for the widows. He has taken care of my mother and brother and me in a great way. We miss Daddy and we will never forget him, but we are happy adults. God has been so good to me! He has loved me and saved me, given me a great husband, blessed me with eight wonderful children. I wish I had known when my Daddy died, that everything would be okay, that I would be happy again, that my life would turn out just right. That’s why I’m writing to you. I thought it might encourage you to hear from someone who has suffered what you are suffering and has seen God’s mercy. He is faithful. He has taken care of me and He will take care of you. He promises to do it and He always keeps His promises. I love you all for your mother’s sake and I’ll be praying for you.
With much love and concern,
Melanie Young,
daughter of "Bill" Smith, 1940-1978
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